I nailed it at work today. I even got a text from our producer saying that I sounded great. I had fun and social media shows it.
What people don’t see on social media is that I was sick for a few days this week and am very much stuck in Monday.
I didn’t get up to make hubby’s breakfast or lunch this morning, or even to kiss him goodbye. I forgot to let the babysitter know I needed her an hour earlier than usual. I bribed my son to clean out our car. And then, I forgot it was a half day at his school and had to get the babysitter to pick him up – after the school called me at work…
I got home from work to a messy house and and it just deflated me. I started to hear lie after lie about myself.
“You aren’t doing enough, your house is a mess…”
When they heard me come in, all three kids came running up the stairs, thrilled to see me, X home before the normal time.
“What kind of mom forgets to pick up their child from school?!”
A few minutes later one of the kids asked for a snack.
“You haven’t cooked a meal all week, what is wrong with you…?”
It was at that point that I caught myself. It was time to self correct. So I was behind this week – I had the flu for two days – of course I’m behind!
It was in that moment I decided to take back control.
I printed my weekly cleaning list and crossed off everything I had done already and started on the rest.
By the time hubby got home I had spent some time with the kids, done a load of laundry, organized the pantry and fridge and wiped down the cupboards.
While I doing all of this I realized a few things.
“I can deal with the mess. I have a system. I’m still a day behind, but I will catch up.”
“I am a good mom. My kids know they are loved. Even if I forget show and tell or early pick ups. I will put reminders in my phone so it doesn’t happen again.”
“I didn’t need to cook this week because of how much food prep I did last week.”
It’s so easy to get caught up in self hatred and feelings of not being enough isn’t it? And that’s all they are, feelings.
You are enough. Wether you cooked or cleaned, spent time with loved ones or went to work today, you are enough. You don’t have to earn your place in this world. You are you, and that is enough.
Scripture tells us all the time that we are loved. That God has created us for a purpose. I believe that with everything in me.
Can you improve? Absolutely. But that only starts when you stop believing the lies you are telling yourself and start speaking the truth.
What lies are you believing today? It’s time to take charge of your thoughts, start telling the truth and begin to thrive!
Until next time,