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Today I am miserable

I’ve been feeling very convicted about how I portray my life on social media lately. I have a job that I absolutely love and makes me happy, my kids are gorgeous, my husband is a hunk – and my followers have seen all of that.

What you aren’t seeing is the many times a day I have to fight self loathing thoughts when I can’t keep up. I haven’t wanted to leave the house, I didn’t even want to go to work this week.

I’m functioning, my family is getting fed, they have clean clothes, I’m doing okay at my job etc. But I’m fighting a battle in my head constantly. Self loathing, insecurities, thoughts of harming myself, wanting to quit…

My friend sent me this quote the other day.. “Research shows our emotions move through our system in 6-90 seconds. The story we create? That’s what sticks.”

The Bible says to ‘take every thought captive’ (2 Corinthians 10:5). And I haven’t been doing a good job of that lately. What started out as an effort to just let myself feel crappy for a day turned into self pity.

My mom reminded me last week that you speak things into being. And I’ve been speaking a whole lot of negative.

I’m trying to change that, I did a lot of cognitive behavioural therapy in my counselling sessions and I need to actually use it.

It’s just that it takes so much effort. It takes effort to ‘count my blessings’, to see the positive in coffee dumped all over the drivers seat of the car, to see a child I love when he slams the door in my face. So.much.effort. It’s almost easier to stay in my misery than to climb back out.

But I believe that God created me to live life abundantly, He made me for so much more than this (John 10:10). So will you join me in praying that I will daily choose gratitude instead of self pity?

Pray for all those you know are struggling, they fight a battle daily, and they need your help to win!

Choosing gratitude,

Rebecca

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